What does, "Embrace the suck" really mean? Find out how to fix your mindset!

Thursday, September 6th

Getting back into a routine, like a new school year or new job can be tough.  Find out how to, "embrace the suck" by changing the way you or your kids approach the day!  Former Olympic speed skater, and now mindset coach, Katherine Adamek will tell you how to train that brain!

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Well it's time for another school year and after the newness wears. It's time to get focused and junior kids maybe have that summertime mindset which says he had that they carefree feeling. And hard to get focused. I'm pretty sure this is okay to say Hillary you just that you have to embrace the suck what does embrace the suck means. We'll find out from kaptur an addict a two time US Olympic speed skating medalist and now a mindset coach can't fix your mindset dot com. She's returning guests here on the radar. Grant thanks for adding it's so cool to have repeat guests absolutely want it when you're talking about mindset training you mean one thing we talked about last time is. He don't it's not like you got to train mindset three hours a day or take on him you know more than you can really handle consistently it's all about making small changes overtime and so yeah it's great to be back just to share. A little more toward San. Absolutely and so now with everybody back in school and no I have my son is in college and too high schoolers now. So nobody is really looking forward to going back to school but mostly at the school everything you know seems to be pretty good. Now as we get into the month of September and October. As summertime goes further and further away and so now it's time to kind of concentrate on things. Whether it's in school or things yet to do outside of school like homer are ways to avoid those mental mistakes people make sometimes not that easy to just jump into things. Absolutely I find almost every one knows what to deal right I mean we know we're supposed to do our homework you know we're not spoke so let's do a skit too long. We know are not exposed to nudge out in front of the TV for three hours before bed and and yet we only we tend to kind of deep fault to be stains. Not just don't know what to do it because you haven't set a strategy on how to do it. And so that does require some extra discipline and yet. I mean to me it's a fair trade yeah my at my personal goal this week on give me an example is. I tended not sleep enough during the week because I get home from a long day and he just wanna relax even when I'm tired I'm not ready to go to bed yet and then on the weekends I sleep and sell laid on Saturdays and I feel like Kathleen days content and then I don't feel productive and that makes me kind of unhappy. And then Monday comes back and and unproductive in kind of unhappy and really tired so I just keep repeating that same process. I know what's do you go to ban on re really not a seeker. It's it's quite it's obvious but it's a matter of looking how to do this how to create. Strategy how do I ensure that every day I get my free time Heidi I prioritize myself. Before attend 1030 at night greatly how to make a prairie of myself at 730 year eight so meeting ended dinner I get so watch my show stunt its go to bed. And unfortunately it does require a little bit more work and yet it's still a fair trade. So I would say the same thing for students I don't know a single high school aged kids who doesn't wake up in the morning she casts sure adding inning at a bad. At 6 AM exhaust six sometimes seven sometimes they do is get dressed and go to school absolutely and so this leads to not procrastinate shin of like to really have TN vendor really have to get my day started today and and when I'm working with a student or an athlete on procrastination. The way that I Wear that and and mindset terms as I call that mental resistance and what's happening is that your brain is setting up resistance against a particular task. And you continued to resist it until the consequences of not doing it. Are greater. India annoyance or the monotony of just doing. Right and I mean that's not fair trade as you sit in this mindset after crass nation for an hour you hit snooze ten times pop out about it sentence there on your genes and go. He didn't need breakfast she didn't plan your school and day out properly or you work day. Right you didn't have time to connector communicate with the people who matter in your life he just wanted to kind of event in bed. As long as possible is so that's a fair trade I don't have a problem was snoozing in managing and pat that's not a problem. But are you coming to that decision from irrational place of man I'm tired I need more sleep today. Or is at this place of I don't wanna get up I'm gonna mentally resisted this until the consequence of not doing it is greater than the annoyance of doing it. That's not a fair trade that's not a fun mindset right to be stuck in when your China have a happy productive life. No not at all not at all and like you said it doesn't matter if you go to work or school. And then what's going on new life EE need to have a better mindset in arts is to deal with that's how can people. At a train their their minds is to not be that way. Well the first thing that I would I recommend people do and I'm pretty sure this is okay missing on the radio shows that you have to embrace the suck yeah you know what wake up at six same socks. It does I'm not intake and only for anybody I mean I know that it sucks and you too. And yet does that set keep you from starting today or changes embrace it and say you know let this have to do you answer just that. How connect how to make this. More. More relatable and I'm thinking of that time and I knew that I was skating in practice and we used to do this impossibly hard work out we did two cents. Of seven wraps of seven laps in Somalia. And you only had a minute rest in between so the first seven you only had a minute grass between this bit. It's 87 and eight Uga like maybe two or three minutes and then you're back out with one minute rest all the way to sent fourteen. That sucks that does that work out so Cox. Boy needed are you gonna waste the first half the work out thinking about it sucks and then start trying onset eats. Are you gonna say you know what this is a suck from lap one and embrace that let me get after that let me look at how this makes me better instead and you just. Shift the mindset. It almost eight reminds me of what was race that you're in and you didn't finish very well. Yeah story so cool because I try to remember this from our first conversation we had on the radar. And you say it was your grandfather who sent you think you can text and not worry about Yunel how long it is but do you think you can get them. Absolutely and any here really before I even learned that strategy that's the perfect example of another strategy we can use called expect the expected so. You know it's gonna suck right and then and so on my situation there my first World Cup. I should know all that I'm probably not gonna step out my first day on the international stage in wind right so let's expects that this is going to be a tough process. And then control a weekend about the process. If you know it's gonna suck if it sucks every day that she do it why is it continually let. Why does it continually frustrate you or annoy you instead what I control. Well I control time again that I control what I wanna do before I leave I can rationally decide that I don't need to be up till seven or ear rationally decide that. Waking up at six sacks anarchists you send men and then I get home and I'll be tired old argument home American and he's really set the stage for your day and is now did you know what to do you had to send a strategy on how to do it. And if you embrace the suck is he saying you know there's other things to contest on the same way pretty soon. That's gonna train you to say you know what I can take gun. Most of the day or need to jump up and you said don't get a Seneca let's get up early movements you know embrace the suck the al-Qaeda sites or to get past that. It and things seem to be downhill after that. For sure I am so embrace a sack is actually a military is saying in Isa that they train and we Navy SEALs camp one year and iron and mice these heating and man those guys those guys are crazy yes and they actually taught us embrace the suck because here's the thing. You have to be here right now you have to do what your bossier teacher or your coach is saying right now it's not an option so how are you going to be effective. Shut up and do it setup that wasting your head this is on his annoying this is stupid I'll put it off right. You have to be here so just be the best that she can be and I mean I can't even imagine the stress and pressure that they go under because. The reason that Lisa has been taught to me that. I'm a military armor a marine might use embrace the suck is like came my buddy just went down and grade are like hey I'm in danger or getting out of here now. How much time are you than a spend thinking about. All the bad things continuing to put yourself at risk are continuing to not make generate decision for people around you. And I know that we're not talking about leaving our bodies behind her protecting our country anything that when you think of it with that motivation behind it. Yeah I you don't have time to linger on what's going wrong today you only have time to do the best she can with what you house. And the more crass nation leading up to that moment where you decide. The worst if you are there were. Things are going to be no matter what you'd gotten military or in school and I guess you can apply this to add to a lot of things and I think your your mindset impacts a lot of a lot of things did you do how does it. Impact your performance I mean is that there will be what is it soft skills were as heart skills yeah. A lot of times I I will run into a coach or a boss. Who'll say like how it really. Not even boss actually bosses usually kind of know this clarity but maybe someone who's reporting up saying. Catherine I don't have time for mines such training today I have all of these tangible things on my to do lists all these hard skills that I must. Complete and be good in order to be good at my job. This soft skills. That they're not that cool air quotes not important and yet I would then ask. OK so do you have trouble focusing on yearlong monotonous tasks that you don't see it's kind of purpose send well yeah and they say yeah of course he doesn't and they say. That's a soft skill. Learning how to focus learning how to bring purpose to what you do learning how to embrace the suck and move forward without wasting time. These are soft skills at directly impact their ability to be dead at your heart scales near end and. And you brought up something very further focus so we're still think about summer we're back to school cancer are at work right now may be thinking about the summer vacation they took with their kids. Kids are thinking about being off. End the mind can kind of wander during team meetings especially I find that for me meetings are tougher needed to keep my focus. Kids in school and there's a lesson being portrayed on the on the right might border or are the Smart board. Lot of times they can lose focus to how can we keep our focus. Right after this great summer that we and we get back into. Into the reality of things. Yeah for shares alas some area and we talked that out of thoughts and house for every nine sought in your head. Humans have a negativity bias where he and a nine tots will be negatives and humans also experienced thirty to 40000 autos thought today. These are thoughts that we each use these are the thoughts that when you're trying to focus here really wanna be 81 Alina material but you're grocery list is running see your head or you not hear in school like. I know what your best friend sent me this morning these these things that. Pull your focus away even though you're not choosing those spots those are called auto thoughts. And so their couple strategies we can news. My favorite strategy is called up and around and so if you ever cease money's kind of stuck there at you whether they're distracted or they just kind of down and and not focused. They're almost always looking down Mimi their shoulders are little slumps aren't they don't they're not sitting or standing with much presents. And so the first strategies is called up and around lift chest up sit tall like this is where you wanna beat bring UI is up make eye contact with the people around you. And maybe that's not tuning UN 100% it's what that person is saying but the very least it's it's getting you out of your own hands it's interesting your out of thoughts. Another shouted you we can use is called a three by three. And this land it sounds. Honestly every time. That I practice it myself I'm always thinking simply this works is it's so simple and it works. 93 things around DO when you're stuck in your head about all the things you have to do or let people on to say yard. Anything that's how automatically coming up. Sinister right now I can say. There's a computer in front of me there's a microphone for a meet and got a cup of coffee here OK I can take a deep breaths as I recognize each of those three things. And that ten seconds of interrupting my out her thoughts. Distracted me from my own distraction in my head and now I'm here now. You can do with people see how often are you upset about something someone said Tauscher. That person is not even here so three I three who's here now. My teacher my best friend and I'm an only Q do I study with afterschool who is here now those people are so much more important than the the person that's annoying you or heard disrespect. To new who's not even in the room yet and those those eight other thoughts that you mentioned that her completely in the you don't need to be thinking about. I read it but that pop in your hand you're not choosing you think a moment they come naturally this happens to every single human being in the world. It's not likely to make them go way we can Christie strategies to aid but you back in control a lot of people experiencing anxiety now and I think the biggest reason that I seem most people experiencing anxiety is either fear of failure or fear of the unknown. And so if five this low level anxiety that's making my thoughts race all day. There's not really a solution that problem and yet if I interrupt my out asides to the point where I get to say what's really bothering me. And so I use another person and example. Okay when I was skating. It's really important to have I'm super low body fat percentage for speed skaters where power to weight ratio support he gets a muscle right yes see you have to be high muscle mass low body fat. And I can go around. For days with this low level anxiety thinking like I couldn't figure out what was wrong. And when I finally anorexia out of thoughts and say why it is active core what's bothering me here. It would usually either be this fear of failure like hey if I can get my body count down. Then I'm in Greece as well as I want you or it could be something like you know I really didn't control the controllable yesterday. I ate out I went CU chick filet insert packing a healthier lunch and I know stuff after Belli yeah. One is sinking like I know what to do I know I have to have a a low body can't I wanna be successful speed skater so how do I do it and it was that. I was missing how and that was causing all this low level anxiety. You don't have to look that. You can just makes strategies for the how well it does take a little extra effort but again that's a fair trade I'll spend 15 minutes in the morning planning ahead if I get. Fifteen hours and 45 minutes for the rest of the nation are good mindset. Yes that is really good especially again like where are our room subject is today of going back to school. Starting something new maybe some kids are starting a new school they're jumping in the middle schooler jump and high school maybe college or college freshman. Or refers somebody like me just a year ago. We started here at the next year it's a brand new brand new situation for you it's a new job new people around you. So it's tough fear that I think that is one of the things that a lot of people are worried about is that the or failure. Knowing where and yes fears failure endings idea of the unknown so he might be going into a new worker going in a college thinking like what if hope I hope I make it right like I hope I'm what does the I although what is so I stories that your mind tends to tell you but then there's also this idea of even without failure just not knowing how terrifying think pac ten and was that your first day of high school in I don't know anybody. What if my friends are in my same class or lunch right lift to eat lunch and blown apparently that's terrifying essar the reality at that could actually happen is almost zero. The very worst case scenario is that there's someone else in your lunch period that. You don't know that well that is in your same boat and say you befriend each other and night got a buddy the lunch with. And yet from 8 AM to noon if all that's on your mind is like oh god I hope I find a friend at lunch today or not you're not focused. You know I got two and you know I do get it I understand why that would causing anxiety that lets look at what's underneath that anxiety instead of having the auto thought all day of like what am I gonna DO. It could be as simple as tame. I'm afraid it won't have any friends at lunch no now we can manage fear and I think we chatted about this a little but the last thing hasn't hotter respond your emotions. Well you're not really a fearful person fears and emotion that you're experiencing right now you can embrace that fear is an opportunity to learn a lesson. What's the lesson why I don't wanna eat lunch alone I'm afraid to be like air air quotes again I don't wanna be a loser violinist and myself frank. That she know he must be included in the yeah clean legitimate fear but it doesn't need to cause half day of anxiety it's as simple as how to like evaluate the situation. And an Oscar around man find out who has my lunch. Again worst case scenario I can't find anyone I know I'm an eat my sandwich and take a lock. And not ideal and yet when LC and AM. Are you gonna feel bad about yourself and it's stuck in a bad mindset right everybody knows what to do it's a matter of sending strategy how to do it how awake keeps us from getting me down. How to I create a plan so that I'm proactive I don't have to be afraid of the unknown I can start to control the pieces of it that I'm in control us. And make the best outcome possible. Absolutely and and I think it what's entering an everybody's ears who are listening is embrace the suck it's gonna happen. You gotta get through it you gotta be here you gotta be in the certain situations you have to go to that meeting yet to go to class and you're gonna launch so embrace it. To work on your mindset and and that way. You can conquer something else absolutely yeah that's awesome. GAAP and panic again is our performance mindset coach she's at fix your mindset that your little business there isn't it that's. Small business that is a small businesses yes that's what I've done since retiring from speech Keating is to side. Embrace this not like I don't know what to do with life after sport after what can I control I can control. K I'll learn so much about how to perform under pressure how to manage anxiety how it's you talk to yourself when you need to. Someone in your corner how to give your own pep talks and sell. I'm I don't wanna be that kind of coach that gets pep talks and it kind of coach that teaches you how to pep talk. You don't need an external circumstance to make you feel that I wanna teach you. How how do you embrace the suck how do you respond to a motion your idea controller controllable. And because really. We all. We can all do it it's it's obtainable it's simple it's a little bit every day. But it is possible and I wanna own empower people to do you Samie we need to talk to all the time a lot of people need to talk to. Almost every day just it just to get that that positively and and the stories that you correlate with everything really works out. Read it simply gone Melancon in treatment lawns. Let's follow me on social media he has an all those little tips trading year social media feed the website and again this fix your mindset dot com okay what does FaceBook your LO whereas social. You know I do have I have two different social media accounts are now I'm you can find me as cat at a mix on and pretty much anything on FaceBook Twitter and instinct and that's my personal feed rights in the share more of my stories. And then I have my business social media which is six your mindset VP. That's all the motivation console that more like that quote it's gonna inspire you to get up announce today. I think both sides are important right sometimes you need that cat is alive and yet has he sometimes you just need a story can relate to so I try to provide both. Hitter up on social media and also fix your mindset does cabinet make thank you again for being on the radar thank you and if you like this I guess there is more on the way to go ahead and subscribe to you on the radar. And you'll be notified when the next podcast is available. Subscribe to on the radar funnier iTunes app for Google play and you could also hear it at 991 the next dot com.