Find out what's holding you back from being happy with Dr. Jen Riday

Thursday, May 3rd

Are you happy? Did you know there is a happiness coach? Her name is Dr. Jen Riday. She is a mother of 6, a wife, an author and the host of the successful "Vibrant Happy Women" podcast. She's here with Elizabeth Kay to help heal your heart and give you her proven formula to achieve happiness - even when life gets hard!

Make sure to subscribe to Jen's podcast! Just search for Vibrant Happy Women on iTunes, GooglePlay or on your podcast app.

To connect with Jen visit her website


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Did you know there's a woman's happiness expert. And I'm talking to work in this podcast it's doctor Jan Friday. I'm from your percent responsible for my happy no matter what and if you're not happy it's no one's fault but your own and some people hate fat. They wanna blame everyone else they want the wind out an apparent but it's you won't be happy in my pivotal effect though an extra responsibility. So how do you achieve that happiness. Generally mil she's a certified professional like coach and maybe you already know her from her successful podcast a vibrant happy woman she's a blogger a teacher a wife and a mother of 6 I am a big fan of hers and really excited to talk with her today and my hope is that this podcast we'll help you become happy vibrant woman that I know he really want any so let's get started. You're listening to the fifty shades of paint podcast with host Elizabeth K a podcast designed to empower enlightened and entertained with perspectives that most women are. Game but not always saying. This is fifty shades of K. That gem believes that the greatest gift you can give others ease your own happiness and she has some really easy steps to help you achieve that. Please welcome my guest doctor Jan Friday alone. I. Mean now I know your busy woman I mean six kids how'd he do that Jan. That you know anyone but a bright lighting and while you can feel like yet let me Abbott stream and that he'll out. Go with the flow. I can't even imagine but thank you again for taking the time to talk to me today about becoming a vibrant happy woman. Some listeners told me about your podcast quite a few months ago so I've been listening to you ever sense and I really am a huge fan so I wanna take. A page out of your playbook Janet I'm your podcast when you interview gas you'll always have that person start off with a quote. That means something to themselves what quote are you loving right now. This has been I liked on our quote and I each. And he said and those who received campaign worked out. Could be in Spain by those who could not hear the music. Wow and what does that mean TO. Well everyone here Arab music and we danced about music and not care what anyone else think they might be grand saint but. Just listening and get into our own music that's vital about one. Now what inspired you. You create this vibrant healthy woman concept because he kind of went through some struggles that sounds like at the beginning. Old picture so I spent too many years probably a decade chasing that quote unquote good mom I deal. You know like bait homemade bread. Explode the week ridiculous. That I. At. Alt metal locker late day and elaborate birthday parties and I haven't carried out by expert but it had a miscarriage. On Christmas Day and when he had ansari. I'll tell its side it was well packed but. That an agent with the wake up call I thought. I am tired and giving everything you might hit them out and blow by. And that's where I am happy women that we began its. The journey. Moving from burn out and losing your belt to take care now healing your hard. Italy relationships. And I'm here at essentially. Yeah and I find that that really is. I feel at one of our biggest missions here on earth is to find out. What gift you have that you're supposed to share with the rest of the world. And that can be found in so many different ways and when you find that yet and what you love to do you will it's amaze seen Howell happy. You feel and what that can project to other people how black can change your relationships really. Oh totally totally and I like a lot of women are. Wonder about their purpose in their mid thirties. It. Me and yet. And don't extra when you find that Bain that light up just happy from the inside out. And it's probably because we all have this energy yet that Oprah likes to talk about. Bad when we're feeling off that energy yet this thing can you need to change your court. I bet me and buy it built like here without and died happy from the inside out that the GPS thing about it is you're course. The really just following their feelings consistently. What would you suggest to someone though let's listen you may know you have a step by step formula. For meaning your emotional needs or finding that purpose. That can seemed really overwhelming to somebody that maybe is just a lost of what's the simple steps. To get started to try to figure out what that is for someone. Step one force your hand down past could be making time for yourself. I like to say at least thirty minutes today and I would recommend putting that into a morning repeat. Because if you can tell forced herself to get up ahead of your kittens out or whoever ultimately as. And it's quiet. And you're not distracted worrying about. Although they're taking you need to do for other people. And that's a great time for meditation or a quick exercise sort journal link just those reflected things that. Help you listen to your heart in your healing that's step one and that's the foundation of everything. You're exactly right now about taking that time for yourself before you're pulled in all the millions of directions we get pulled an. Often as women and as moms for myself my alarm goes off at 3:30 in the morning so I'm definitely happy for the rest of the world's graduate. But what I found about two years ago I started doing is breathing exercise when I woke up because I would just wake up. Ready fire out the door and then the Dade and stop until 8 PM. And I was feeling in like completely burnt out see you are absolutely right and I just taken a little bit it's kind. Just for yourself that's a great suggestion in Harvard is he somebody as you can carve out fifteen minutes thirty minutes I mean you really can't and it's important dual. It totally is and when we. Read normally the way we do these states where all in either flight mode which means they're cortisol levels are higher at this shallow. Portrait belt on down and into deep grieving where. We re cleared out her diaphragm. We'll activate as big a nerve which tells your body hey we're done of course not the tablet the court resolved where relaxing now. But if we don't consciously view that we ever get exactly where we're in the cap like in the quarter though like (%expletive) it is no wonder we all feel so burned out. Besides as Brian there's actually assign buying it. Now you mentioned something in one of your podcasts. I have implemented and I absolutely love it and it's simple and it doesn't take a long time it's the super heroes stance. To talk a little bit about that because. I have found and really. Tough situations or. Like let's im about to head into the median and I'm a little anxious about the super hero stands has done a lifesaver Jana I've got to tell you I love it. Well the power pulpit for hero pilot. Come from a pot by Amy Heidi you'd DDY. And get attempt talk on the topic and she actually restart at the topic. What negated made it numerous studies but wanna kind of wanna refer to me as they had. Two groups of people one group with a client is kind of contract ends that they normally are sick of all the other group was. A sign to let our vote that meet soldiers back and a chat about to be hands on it like Wonder Woman or interpret that. Or aren't big about that had a girl power poses an intimate nature with guerrillas that their speed easily get eight. Well they add that when they put these people in an interview room and it didn't really it wasn't real but. Well as to where watching them and it kind of that I quitting in them and down with a given the job to note that the power politics. So it increases that passed around by 20%. And increased at that cortisol the stress hormone by 2010 as well so. It just makes you more likely to take risks. More likely to be confident and who perform well attacked so was spread in the morning. He'll joke that the great that goes there. A well a little weird the first time I did it because I was in a bathroom a premiere and I I don't myself but it kind of it was sort of felt like the whole fake it to you make it mentality. I kind of laughed at myself when I did it and then that kind of relaxed me a little bit more. But I shared this with other women and I really appreciate that take away because it's all simple to do but really he. Pulling you feel like but you're superhero like you could take out anybody. Exactly. And it's funny at all kinds of things where if we change our ideology. And do the things with their bodies that feel happy and he'll crop but it. Then we. Feel our Google follower of elegy likes swinging currently locked. Nobody happier and they've found that depressed people or lack McAleese when there are men locked out. I'll talk to be able to eat. It Justine did. You do talk a lot about how we have these fleeting thoughts and how we can choose to give attention to some of those spots or choose to not. Give those thoughts attention. But letting go feelings that don't serve yo. I feel like as. As women especially and as moms I mean I'm I'm a step mom and I naming your six kids you know on the bumpy and I'm not perfect but I feel like we struggle with that element of guilt. Like we're not giving enough to our spouse or not given enough to our kids are lacking in enough to our job and we're kind of expected to do would doll which is impossible. What is it some suggestions you have for manage Jeanne Yeltsin and letting that feeling goal. For me it comes back to that morning meditation time where. At first checked in with my thoughts and feeling of I'm feeling batter Owens telling strap and I let go of the feeling that they know normally served me. And then we'll kind of do that inner dialogue saying some might say it's what got some might it's a higher power or your into switching back. Asking the question what is the best choice or action that Turkey today was the most important thing today. And when I get that connected. In her feelings then. And that ain't that suddenly all the things that everyone else says they should be doing all the way it doesn't matter because I took the time neck and skull. What the best thing is for me and then I don't feel guilty because they at this. Kind of assignment you know. Yeah right kind of prioritize a little bit of light is going to serve yield. And that we've heard that saying when mom ain't happy ain't nobody happy and I know it's not proper grammar. You really. Are you think are bringing a lot of awareness to that fact that. You may think as a parent you're doing at all for people that are listening are for you a wife for it maybe you're not even a relationship you're just you know woman out there in the world. In the workforce. If you are feeling like you're in a rise. That's gonna affect other people as we can't have our energy kind of has an effect on people what is that why is it that. But the woman is kind of the core when it comes to how the emotions have been lol and relationships. I don't another reason but everyone would agree scientifically speaking bad women have Mathis energetic and emotional cup at eight. And a lot of women will announce a time wasting actually play their time being upset that they're about to happen. Or that. Their kids don't have bad. And it's not fair quite active in that. I think they did all of that thinking and accept this amazing and powerful capacity. And use different guys and it's true. We have what are car called mirror neurons in our brains that. Instantaneously. With Angela second. If a person is. Showing a strong boot weather anchor that others will pick up on it that they'll actually take imagines there aren't firing. People. Literally received your booted in Egypt though when each unit QB are happy itself our kids watch. We can stop negative generational pattern of victims thinking more negativity. And we're just passing on a really amazing guest. Not just in the moment but I feel like trees that generation that. And if you exude a sense of happiness. And if you're seeing is contagious how beautiful that happiness condemning reflected back to you'll. Well it's so true I remember one time I think it's about. And I. Pretty much yelled and all the way out the door and I. And I closed the door at one of the state and I cry. And I stepped back any of them big picture thinking and I thought seat. Making all the Brad I'm doing a bit up and what I can remember before. And the answer was grumpy and adopted. And I by. Yeah that pretty much not elected the final means an acrylic. The one thing I want them learn from B a remember me that I went by aren't happy about in the goal and that's where the podcast. That's Arnold started. Great and do you constantly have women I mean it would just imagine that your at the grocery store and your grabbing bananas and some leans over and says. Jack and I've got a situation going on any when you aren't you aren't don't Urbina happy vibrant woman. Mean you can't just walk away from Manny go to the grocery store you constantly. Sort of watch like is she happy right now how is she feeling in did you feel pressured not really. I EM. The pressure is bigger because a lot of and Balco lab without makeup tell it like it's on I'll be like. I wouldn't count here don't mean a lot happier. And I. I'm all about and that Ian they get what they yet. And another thing is I feel pressure or might it cute been more perfect which is silly and not even what AP and the pod cast. But yet been struggling with my two older teen and it massively hard sometimes to show up on my podcast and not change myself so. I'm still only learning what and who. Let go of that guilt and the shame and so what kind of backed version of myself that I can't at recognize cannot all of the people we can't yeah I'd. You know. I hear what you're saying but I do admire you and your podcast when you talk about how. Struggle with some things home like we all do but how are you on those days you know we only up on the wrong side of the bet. Late inning you mentioned getting up earlier before your loved ones and B for the day it's going. What do you do when you're about to sit down and record the vibrant happy woman podcast. And you're just not feeling like a happy vibrant woman do you put on a favorite song do you read a quote what do you deal. Well change your statement comes from Tony Robbins but essentially. You look your body and your focus and your dialogue well. What my body I did the power are over and over and over or I am I jump on my founder is getting my ideology to be more happy and then start pumping it up north. That's a trampoline you talked about I wanna quickly mention you have an act she hit a trampoline everybody. You're never sure you're never old have a trampoline and that is like you do you have an Alley I love it. I'm equating that you'd jump on a rebounder every day or not at incontinent. She's gonna ask. It. Like if they get caught up front about it just under thirteen items like a vital running I might have an accident. What are you wrote maybe overtime double B to Gainesville may be. Thought well that it I mean I know you talk about it but I love that you promote that you jumping on a trampoline because that I think his. Again something that maybe seems silly would that also can kind of boost your mood too because it's not Soliai making you feel better. Exactly and it really air audience that the collection of Iraq and arms around them chemical and you don't we got to do it we can he do but stay until then the next thing I Hewitt where my spot and often with my kids lately. My doctor. Defending until weary public got an app and it turned out there in a total match. And yet you elks and I had to catch those spots that they yeah right I can bring down and replaced them where they re framed by great day. Yeah. He really has on ideas or. Even know what they want. I'd go for it and just tried it twisted and ship it back to a positive outlook for the gators. Why not you know it's easier that way. You have that just does change the outlook of eight. What do you think is the most common thing that holds women back from living in a vibrant happy healthy life. This idea that other people need to be saved a certain way hurt for a happy. Most athletic equipment doing what they're about or of course with their kids. And just deciding I am 100% responsible I have been at a 100% accountable and committed. Q I'm happy that independent and back went out and I like initialize. I'm in the bubble. I can create whatever I want and the bubble and don't want an app bubble. And I happen that bubble nice and thick when my kids they're being you know particularly. Crazy what they are whatever might spell out that that anarchy big. Not knowing. I'm at a percent responsible for a happy that no matter what and if you're not happy it's no one's fault but your own and I would hate that. They wanna blame everyone else that wanna blame that bout at the parent. Buy it you won't be happy immaculate on back though and except respond. She and his acts. Is powerful I really had a moment right now when you said that because I know I've gotten caught up in the act. There absolutely times I've put my mood or a blamed it on someone else. But then that's giving that person the power that they really don't have I did this guy that. That's soul. I'd love is this why I love listening to you and I'm so excited B dot edu because. You just have a way of explaining it's it's as simple wording in that it makes much sense but you are absolutely right that's a huge take away I love that. Known as you wrap up with you because again I know your super busy of the business and the podcast and the six kids and everything. But what secrets have you learned from other women that have helped you achieve happiness. While on this journey I mean you just gave me an aha moment anyone do that for you that you can think of. You know I'm gonna be a little cliche but and we go back to. Renee brown an Oprah. Asks. Why Europe. And now. You know when they had to go through her hard struggle and like she needed speed up and take him vulnerable and that change cannot survive being spoken aloud that. You know we creators and when we hide our struggles in secrecy but we can speak it could be vulnerable authentic and that's what my podcast in them out. Talking about these things. Letting go of that shame element and it makes that so much happier. And then Oprah can see she came from. And feed her ride all the way up. This is really what's happening in the world right now IT with women like your podcast. IPod at. Did an awakening going on where women are kind of coming into their power and saying hey. I am gonna be happy I am gonna create the life I want I am gonna all of my treat it with my purpose in the beautiful and powerful and I think. Women are going to save the world because the battery. Yes I believe that at 100% and to have Addai with Oprah who I am a huge fan of Oprah I'll I talk about it delegate every putt testing kits mention it. She is such an example. And an inspiration to people. When she talks about change your story. Just because you may have come from XYZ background. Does it mean at that have to define who you are today that's completely up TU I mean she really. Is living proof of that and that is so inspirational. Which I think is why a lot of people. Really do kind of looked at her for inspiration because she's dead I mean she's proof of all of that. But yes I'm a huge fan of Oprah as well. I mean I don't get me started to and we thought about Oprah she's great but I would I honestly I have to say. I find I'm quoting you'll lie as well to among my friends so I would really just like to thank you for what you're doing in the energy Europe clean out into this world. Because what you're creating. Is powerful and when women are feeling good and when women feel that confident and we're happy vibrant women. And who knows what can happen amazing things. And I think we're about to see it all happening too I'm with you on that I agree Jan. Well thank you so much for people listening that would like to followed Chad. You are in mr. Graham here on base block you have the happy when in podcast which are gonna link up at 99 won the mixed act com. And for the Wisconsin folks analysts in main. She goes through all these seasons here like we do machine had the snell and spraying in spirit. You're at an all of that to excellence really hard to be happy about vibrant woman currently god in April and their smell you know what I'm talking and I Jad. Like you know I do that but the rough month this year yeah. Why is but this is when we really have to be more articulate about taking care of ourselves when those kind of factors are happy and that's fresher. Well thank you again I'd love to have you back on the podcast at some point if you be willing. I don't agree I'm so glad you called me. And you will think Jen have a great day if you're okay thereby putting. This is then the fifty shades of tape podcast with host Elizabeth take if you enjoyed this episode shared with us and make sure to subscribe I chants and lead the review thanks for listening.