The questions EVERYONE asks when you're pregnant... and the answers I really want to give.

December 17, 2019
Molly Cruz Pregnant

Growing a human is hard work, and sometimes fielding questions from strangers and acquaintances can be equally as difficult.  I must preface this by saying, I know most people come from a curious and caring place and do not mean to be invasive with their questions.  Here are just a few common questions I've gotten and giggled about over the past 8 months. 

"How are you feeling?!" (Insert very concerned/worried face) 
Why do people look at you like you're dying when they ask this question?!?  I am not critically ill... I am just pregnant! Ok, but really... I know many other women have dealt with really terrible illness and reactions during pregnancy, so I understand why the question is often followed with the concerned face. 
To be honest, I have had a SUPER easy pregnancy.  No nausea, no swollen feet, I passed my glucose test, I've been able to maintain my workout schedule and aside from my belly growing, everything else has been pretty normal and boring. 

"Have you had any cravings?!" 
Again, I've had a very uneventful pregnancy.  I do not crave pickles and ice cream.  Honestly, the only thing I have really craved during this third trimester is FRUIT.  I've been making a lot of smoothies at home.  And I've let myself indulge in a lot more holiday sweets and treats :) Baby needs to fatten up a bit before arriving, right? 

"Are you going to breast feed?" 
I was pretty shocked and taken aback by this question at first. I WISH I would have responded by saying something like… You didn't care about my breasts or their production of milk 8 months ago so why are you asking me this invasive question now? 
My REAL answer has been… I'm going to try.  I think there is SO MUCH stigma and judgement of mothers and breast feeding.  It honestly gives me a lot of anxiety and that's the last thing any mother needs.  At the end of the day, I will nourish and feed my child however I can/see fit.  If he is health and growing, then there should be no concern from anyone else. 

"How did it happen?!" 
Because I am not married, a lot of people like to ask this one.  I actually had someone ask me this in front of my male boss... which was really uncomfortable.  At the end of the day, you don't need to share the intimate details of how your child was conceived if it makes you uncomfortable.  We are all adults and we know (in most circumstances) how babies are made. 

"Are you going to get married?!" 
I am in a loving, supportive relationship with my partner of 4 years.  We share a beautiful life and home together.  We are thrilled to welcome our baby boy into the world, but we are not in any rush to the altar.  Our baby boy will soon see how much we love and care about each other (and him), with or without rings on our fingers.  It's 2019 and we are a modern family.

"Have you picked out a name yet?"
We made the mistake early on of telling a few friends/family our ideas. We were met with some strong opinions, and not all were good.  Which actually made us dislike the names we originally picked...  So we've decided to keep the names we are considering private until he is born.  I also really want to see/meet the little dude before making a final decision.  

"Should you really be drinking coffee?"
I was met with some nasty glares at a Panera a few months ago as I grabbed a quick coffee.  Even close family have openly judged me for drinking coffee.  While there are some who have been fed information that caffeine consumption during pregnancy is bad, my medical team says I am allowed 1 cup of coffee per day.  And I will only listen to the advice of my medical team in regards to what I should or shouldn't be consuming during this time. Thank you, next.   

"Are you going to get an epidural?" 
There's a lot of judgement around this one to, which is really unfortunate.  Someone a few weeks ago said to me, "you're a pretty tough girl, I think you can get through it without any medication".  Everyone's experience is different.  Every woman is different.  I think as long as you surround yourself with professionals and a great support system, it doesn't matter what or how you choose to deliver your child.  Also - can we please stop sharing birthing HORROR stories?!?  Most first time moms go into child birth with so much fear because of this.  When in reality, most births go on without a hitch.  Let's lift each other up and support each other, not instill fear about the pain or length of time your labor will last.  As long as baby and momma are happy and healthy, why does it matter what methods you used/or didn't use to get there? 

"Are you ready to be a mom?" 
The real answers is NO.  I don't think any amount of books, research, birthing classes, can really prepare you for how your life will change.  The biggest thing for me, and for my anxiety, is just giving up the need to control everything.  The real question should be “are you excited to be a mom?”, and my emphatic answer is YES!!!  I know I will feel really overwhelmed. I know there will be moments where I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know what I'm doing.  And I know that no matter what, it will be ok.  30+ years later, MY parents are still learning how to be parents.  They don't have all the answers, but they love me and support me.  I will do the same for my little guy, too.

Molly Preggo 2